He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i out mim tonsoeep
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
