So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
