I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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