i think my mom watched the whole time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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