You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
