No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
