I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
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She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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