Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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