I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize