that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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