Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
