Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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