ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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