we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
