i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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