i need an iv and a liver transplant
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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