He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
