I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
