i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
