I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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