There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
