I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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