I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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