Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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