I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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