Im at strip club and am horny
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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