Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
