i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
