you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
