Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize