just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
