32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
