mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
