absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
