There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
