im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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