If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
