Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
