I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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