My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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