ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
