i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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