No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There's always time for handjobs
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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