mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
