is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
