Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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