Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
