The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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