This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
