i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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