Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
