I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
