He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
