i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
