so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
