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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  since when the fuck is that glamorous?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He's honking my boob in his sleep

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It's innocent and endearing in some way

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here

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