All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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