Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
